Back in Atlanta

A sign in East Atlanta Village. Taken by bittermelon.

I've been back in Atlanta for a couple of weeks and it feels great! It's a little weird because it kind of feels as if I never left, but I'm not sure where everything is when I'm driving. I forgot how lovely it is to be surrounded by people I love and people who love me. That's one fantastic thing about my neighborhood. Most of my favorite people are just minutes away.

I expected things to be a little challenging when I got back. I tried to prepare emotionally for feeling like nothing had changed when everything had changed. Unfortunately, there is no way to prepare for that. Coming back to a place and to people after being away for a year and a half takes acclimating and that sucks.  I hate being uncomfortable! Every day is a little bit easier. 

I gave myself a break. I did just move across the country, am planning a wedding, started a new job, bought a car and am driving and am no longer in a long distance relationship. Those things might drive even the sanest person a little crazy.

Goodbye, New York

Chihuahuapolooza. Enough said. 

When I moved to New York a year and a half ago, it was the hardest and scariest thing I've ever done. I had a couple of friends spread out across the boroughs, but not close enough to where I lived to see on a regular basis.

It was very lonely and hard at first. I cried a lot and was alone a lot. I'd never lived so far from home and so far from what was familiar. New York is pretty much a different country from Atlanta, I couldn't understand what people were saying half the time for the first few months. People are much more abrasive here and that was quite a difficult adjustment for me.

All of this being said, I now have a full life in New York. I have wonderful friends I plan on keeping for life. Bonding with people here is a different experience than anywhere else. New York City is so hard, sometimes all you can do is laugh or cry with a good friend (or a stranger). I'm sad to leave all of my lovely friends. I'm sad to leave my amazing job and awesome coworkers.

I'm leaving for all of the reasons this article states (which is satire, but pretty damn close to the truth). While I'll miss the city a little, I'll mainly miss the people I met from all walks of life, here to follow their dreams. I'll miss the constant challenge (this will be more of a conceptual missing). I found myself here, a little. I am coming in to my own as a fine artist and I couldn't have done that without this experience.

Good-bye, New York!

Pictures

We are sooooo funny

Boyfriend asked me to marry him. I'm getting married. I can't believe it, it's insane. And, we got engagement pictures. I said I didn't want them. Each lame set of engagement pictures I've seen I've laughed at with a superior chuckle. Every time a cliche save the date comes in the mail with the couple gazing lovingly into each others' eyes clenched the knowledge that it'd never be me in those photos. Partly because I never thought I'd meet the right guy, but mostly because I knew I'd never, ever get engagement photos.

'Sigh.' We got engagement photos. I don't even know who I am anymore.

Existential crisis, ya'll

We hired the amazing Lauren Wright as our wedding photographer and she insists on them and includes them in the wedding photo package. I didn't want to do it, but–what the hell, you only get married once (I hope) right?

The photography is beautiful and while we look like silly weirdos in many of them, it's so cool to see us together. Boyfriend and I don't have many pictures together, mainly because we don't live in the same city (and iPhones). I love having these! And Lauren is such a talented photographer, just look at that light! We took the pictures in Oakland Cemetery in Atlanta, so that's a little quirky.

So, yeah. We got engagement pictures. In a cemetery. And, don't worry. None of these pictures will be on the Save the Dates. I just couldn't.

Now I just have to convince everyone that A.M. 180 by Grandaddy is a good first song choice.

I'm so over the snow

Derp in a park near our house and our street

Being from the South, any chance to see snow is magical. If we get snow that sticks to the ground we're thrilled. But, when it does stick to the ground, this happens; ridiculous.

Anyway. When I moved up to New York, I assumed it was going to snow a lot more than I was used to. I just didn't think that it was going to snow inches upon inches multiple days a week. I didn't think the only shoes I'd be able to wear were cheerful rain boots at which I'm now tired of looking (I can only match so many outfits to their bright colors).

My friends and coworkers who have lived up here for a long time (or from New York) have assured me this is the coldest, snowiest winter of their lives. I think they're all afraid I'm getting freaked out and planning on escaping back to Atlanta. But, I'm sucking it up.

Also, there are ice mountains along the sides of the road and the side walks. It's super difficult to park and once parked, it's hard to get out. My little Bug is not happy (who ever designed this car did it a terrible disservice by making it so low to the ground).

Hopefully winter will be over soon.

Home, but not anymore

Pictures with a portion of loved ones

I went home for Thanksgiving. It was the first time since I moved to New York. All last week, I tried to prepare myself for what to expect emotionally. I've been so lonely here in New York, I hoped I wouldn't get overwhelmed and sad.

Well, I did (get overwhelmed and sad). It was so lovely to see my friends and family and feel so much love. They told me I look great and beautiful, which I needed to hear (as I recently posted).

Thanksgiving Day was great. It was just as overwhelming and anxiety producing as any large family function is, except this time I had something interesting to share. Living in New York is a great conversation starter. Friday, Boyfriend and I had second Thanksgiving with his family and I got to hold his new nephew, Little Bit, for the first time. It was amazing to have such a small baby cuddle up to me.

Saturday was when I started to get sad. I hung out for a few hours with Bestie then we met up with some of my friends at a coffee shop in Atlanta. So many of my ladies came to see me! I was overjoyed to hug and chat with each one. I felt so loved and a part of, which I haven't felt here (New York).

I forget that time takes time. Relationships don't pop up out of no where. But I've been trying sooooo hard. I feel like I should have more meaningful relationships by now. I do have Lady Pants and my new roomies, I'm just so used to being surrounded by love all the time and I miss that about Atlanta.

I cried much of Saturday night and Sunday and the plane ride home. I'm trying, putting one foot in front of the other. It will get better and easier. I hope.

BSTW vol. 25

This week has gone by quickly and was not extremely stressful, so that's good. I went to Rebel Bingo with some friends and it was totally awesome. I encourage you to go if it comes to a city near you. While this week was uneventful, I did learn the importance of buying holiday plane tickets waaaay ahead of time. Those fares are no joke.

1. Cute and lovely ad campaign for an all girls' school.
2. Designer looking for work intentionally loses her passport at her favorite agencies in New York.
3. An artist in Boston, MA interviews the homeless and replaces their sad cardboard signs with beautiful and eye catching ones.
4. Carrie Anne's cats have a tea party, all of these pictures are amazing. For reals.

Saturday, a couple of my cousins from down south are going to be in Brooklyn  Yayayay! I can't wait to see them and next week I'll be in Atlanta for Thanksgiving. 

Have a wonderful weekend.

Stranger in a strange town

He also feels lost and doesn't know what to wear

Moving to a new place is so weird. In Atlanta, I knew where I fit. I thought I knew who I was and I assumed that knowledge was going to transfer to New York. How can one suddenly feel as if she doesn't know herself simply because she has a new zip code? But that's exactly what it's been like.

In Atlanta, I had many, many friends. I knew my presence was wanted, and not in a conceited way. I had genuine relationships. My friends knew me and I knew myself through their eyes. I didn't realize I defined myself through others' eyes so strongly.

The thing is, I didn't really know what others were actually seeing, I just thought I did. But it was so real. Here, in all of this strangeness, I can't define myself through others. Through my friends back home, I knew I was crafty and artistic, warm and friendly, trustworthy, fashionable and likable.

I don't get that from the people I meet here (not all of them, just most). I don't think they see me as I think I am. I get the feeling they think I'm a weirdo, possibly just because I'm an outsider right now.

I second guess myself all the time. I feel like I no longer even know how to dress myself. When looking through my closet, it seems as if none of my clothes go together and never should have. Things as simple as dressing myself is now a mystery. What did I used to wear when it was cold? What did I used to wear on Friday nights? Did I go out on Fridays? What did I do?

Boyfriend and Bestie and my family are so far away. I don't know anymore.

Shop Local in Atlanta

Because I'm about to leave, I'm feeling very nostalgic and in love with Atlanta. This post by JustLove.ly inspired me to make my own post featuring handmade in Atlanta.

R. Land Savannah Ghost Magnet

Georgia Print by The Pink House Press

Sapphire Necklace by My Sweet Norma

Bright Graphic Romper by Fabulous Dresses

Hi & Bye by Funky Cool Threads

Family Portrait by Elisabeth McNair

Foam Hand Shirt by Esperanza

Hope Necklace by June Shin

And there you have it! Get ready for some more awesome Atlanta posts!

I'm moving to New York!

A couple of weeks ago, I flew to NYC to work for a few days. It went well and now I'm moving up there to be a full time employee. I'm really excited, but also scared. I've lived in Atlanta my whole life and this is going to be a whole new world. 

Here, I can't imagine things being better (other than the whole job and money thing). My friends are amazing, Boyfriend is amazing. But, I've always wanted to move to New York and my new job is everything I could've dreamed. In a month, I'm off!

Chico is super pumped to check out everything. He'll be seeing tons of sights on the 15 hour drive there. Have I ever mentioned how much I hate driving because I really hate driving.

A new life awaits me in the near future. 

Meanwhile, I'm getting rid of 75% of my stuff. It's hard. And looking for a place to live, which is a whole new challenge when you're not actually in the city. I have no idea what I'm doing.

I've also never been in a long distance relationship. I'm trying to convince Boyfriend to move, but he keeps telling me he hates New York and will never live there. It's scary to go forward and know he probably won't be there, but you never know. 

Soon Chico and I will be off to the north!

Appreciating the moment

This weekend, one of my lovely friends had an awesome birthday party. There was a fire pit and live music (all provided by friends). It was super low key and great. We sat around the camp fire, talked, celebrated Katie (the birthday girl). Knowing I'm leaving the state soon to venture somewhere completely new and alien to me makes me extremely thankful for these moments. 

I love the way Atlanta (the south) smells in the summer. It's a sweet and earthy smell. And the sounds of the cicadas greets us every night. We caught lightning bugs once they came out at dusk. A three-year-old had a lot of interest in this, and we got him a jar and caught some. His mom said those were his first lightning bugs ever. There aren't lightning bugs where I'm going. That's so weird to me. I've had them around me every summer of my life. 

A few of the trees in the yard were covered in lightning bugs, way up high. It looked like the trees were sparkling. It was magical beyond anything I've ever seen. I wish I could've gotten a picture of it, but it wouldn't have come out. 

The live music around the camp fire in the darkness of the night was awesome. Katie danced around and played the fiddle (I didn't even know she played). The whole night was magic and I'm so very thankful I got to be there. These are the memories I'll cherish once I move away.

BSTW: The Postal Service

Instead of the normal Best Stuff This Week post, I'm going to share about seeing one of my favorite bands, The Postal Service. I went to their show last night and it was so wonderful. I've been waiting for them to go on tour together for 10 years. I've seen five Death Cab For Cutie shows in the meantime (which were great, I loved them for many, many years) hoping they'd play a Postal Service song. Never happened. So, last night was like a dream come true.

My friends and I appropriately kept it weird:

The nice girl who drove just happened to have these masks in the car (for occasions such as this) so we brought them in. Which was great because we also used them as fans and to ward off the body odor and constant farting that was happening in front of us.

In the actual theater, the bass was way too loud and the acoustics weren't great, but I loved it. I was having major nostalgic flashbacks the whole time and I couldn't have been happier. I'm overjoyed they finally toured as a band.

If you were there, what did you think?

It's over

As I mentioned several times last week, I graduated on Friday. I've been relaxing it up since then and playing with friends and family. Friday night was pretty much the best night ever. It was wonderful. It's amazing to be done and have everything ready to go. I'm really proud of my portfolio. Seeing it printed out was the first time I felt like I can do this. I don't feel like I'm just flailing around, faking it. In the past two years, I've learned so much about design and even more about myself. Next up, finding a job!

The was such a wonderful moment. Ready for the meet and greet to begin

Posing as if my book is the most amazing thing they've ever seen

On Sunday my bridge club/Game of Thrones ladies got me an awesome rainbow cake

And mini tiaras

Scrapbook: NYE 2013!

Instead of trying to have the most epic night ever, some friends planned a game night and pot luck in the community center in our neighborhood. It was awesome. Super low key. Just what I wanted.

Halloween: The Chico Edition

I don't know if you know this about me: I luuuuurv Halloween. With all of my heart and soul. Unfortunately, being in graduate school and all really limits my time and resources (i.e. $$). I wasn't able to decorate or lend time to making a costume. So, that's kind of sad. Fortunately, finding things around my house I already had and buying a little fabric, I was able to compile group costumes for me and Chico. And let me tell you, they were farking adorable.

Lamby Cheek

Mary had a little lamb

Using a drill to carve...

Hands spreading butt cheeks.

I used Boo's iPhone (mine is a 3GS and really blows) to take pictures because I forgot my camera. So yes, that is Halloween. And now onto Christmas music and Thanksgiving, in that order.

Summer Awesome

On principle, because I hate hate hate to be hot, I don't care for summer. If I didn't live in Atlanta, I might not hate it so much. It's a summer of 100+ degrees with 100% humidity. And, while I'm very excited to usher in fall (holidays, Halloween, cooler weather, better clothes, not sweating, parties, less mosquitos), I will miss this summer.

On our way to an awesome hiking trip

This was the most magical summer I've had since 2004. In 2004 I moved to the city for the first time and I had some amazing friends who were down to hang out all night. It was amazing. We drove around, went to clubs, stayed up all night. Once, on a whim, we drove to Chattanooga at 2am to visit the aquarium (this seemed like a good idea on a 3 day no sleep bender). We didn't calculate that it only takes 2 hours to get there and the aquarium opened at 10am.

Basking in the glory once we reached the waterfall.

This summer was great like that. I didn't have any expectations of fun to happen so I was open for anything. Loiter in a parking lot for three hours and do jigs, I'm in.

Basking in the setting sun. This night was awesome.

It was just amazing. Hanging out with friends nonstop. Everyone was single, out of school and ready to hang out late into the night. Maybe it was the awesome in the air at the beginning of the season (you know, it reminds you of high school when you snuck out of the house to go break into the neighborhood pool and your whole life was ahead of you, not to mention the air smells like excitement and possibility). It was so great to reconnect with friends I see frequently, but don't get a chance to hang out with. To say yes. To meet new people. To give peas a chance.

While I'm super pumped for cooler weather and Halloween

One day maybe I'll have a body like this again.

(yeah buddy!) I'm a little sad to see summer go. Friends are pairing up in relationships (including myself), starting and searching for new jobs, going back to school and generally living their lives. Which are all good things. This summer was one of those moments that are amazing and can't be planned. I'm so lucky to have experienced it.