Horror Movie Review: Mama

There are no spoilers, it's safe to read.

I've been waiting for Mama to come out for a long time. The ads make it look absolutely horrifying and Guillermo Del Toro is involved (I thought he directed it, but he's just an executive producer. Andres Muschietti directed). Creepy kids, ghosts, darkness, the woods. Many popular elements of scariness. Unfortunately, this was the worst movie I've seen in recent recollection. On the way home from the theater, I tried to think of a worse movie and I couldn't. My fellow movie goers were laughing and clapping during the dumber scenes (this is why I love opening night).

It started off reallllllllllllly badly. But, I reassured myself, The Ring started off kind of weak. I mean, it was about a home movie. People didn't even buy VCRs at the time. Unlike The Ring, Mama didn't take a turn for the awesome. I kept hoping it was going to at least make me jump in my seat (Even Sinister kept it alive with things popping out of the dark). Then, just when you thought it couldn't get any worse, they showed the spirit that is Mama...really? You had a little bit of mystery going, then you just ruined it (PS: your CGI looks like it belongs in a Pixar movie and not a horror flick) (no offense Pixar, you rock!).

So, if you can't tell, my recommendation is skip this one. Go and see Djano Unchained. Remember, this is two hours of your life you CAN NEVER GET BACK.