Wednesday, July 11, 2012


I've seen this boy a few times, lately, and more so than being all excited and floaty (there are moments), I'm petrified. While I've been afraid, bored, annoyed, trapped, resentful (and more negative emotions) in the past, this seems different. I don't remember being this scared I'm going to do the wrong thing. Most likely, because over the last 2 years I've done a lot of the wrong things over and over and over again. I am an expert at screwing up some male/female relationships. Expert.

The difference seems to be that I genuinely want to do the right thing. I'm not sure if this has happened to me before. While, I have intentions of doing "the right thing," once I get in the situation, I usually convince myself the easy thing is the right thing. But (now this is going to shock you) the easy thing and the right thing are rarely if ever the correct thing to do when it comes to romantical relationships. A lot of the time this simply equals not having sex too soon (or ever, honestly, not everyone is sex worthy).

So, yes. I'm a little afraid. I just need to chill out, enjoy the ride and not worry as much where it takes me. If I freak out about if this is going to work out or not, what will my friends say, what's going to happen next, when are we going to hang out again, ect., the whole time there's no point in hanging out with anyone.

To Be Continued...

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