Take a Chance

The only times I've ever taken real chances on myself were in the 9th grade when I joined the summer swim league (I'd never competitively swam a day in my life) and going to the school I just graduated from (it was expensive and I had to put my whole life on hold).

Now that I'm looking for a job, I can either play it very safe and just look for jobs in Atlanta, or look for jobs in another city. While I haven't found a job yet, I have the opportunity to take a small chance on myself with a company in New York. Long Island, to be exact. They're not offering me anything permanent right now, just a chance. And while New York City itself would be a major chance, Long Island is even more of one. It's not too close to the city. It's a suburb. Something I claim to hate. I haven't been offered anything yet, and I'm already freaking out about the whatifs. What if I hate it there? What if it's too expensive, or cold, or shitty or boring? What if the people there don't like me? But what if everything goes right? What if I don't try it out and take a chance on me? I'll never know.

I'm so excited and scared at the same time. I worry (for any job) I'm going to get there and I'm going to blow it. I'm going to realize I don't know what I'm doing, I'm a horrible designer, an impostor  They're going to say, "we made a huge mistake, you'll never make it here. Get out, go back."

The most important thing is that I try. Because I might just be amazing. I might love it. It might be something so wonderful and right for me, I didn't know it was missing until I got there.